If you don’t know me I’m Sian and I’m 21.
I have grown up with a Christian influence around me all my life. My mum was, and is very heavily involved in the church and has spoken about God daily, all my life.
As a child I never really took much notice of this as it was my ‘normal’. I enjoyed Sunday school and all social aspects of church as you do when you’re a child, and that was my life all through primary school leading in to secondary school.
As you’ve probably heard from other people before, there was a change in my life in secondary school. I do believe it’s a big step for a young Christian. I can’t pinpoint a time I noticed how other people’s lives were different to mine, but I grew more aware of it the older I got.
I started to become jealous of what other people could do or say, and the world, unknown yet to me became very appealing.
I gradually became less interested in what people had to say about God, and even felt uncomfortable in any conversation of the sort.
At the time I went to a youth church service on a Sunday morning, more for a catch up with friends as I couldn’t of told you what was spoken about after I left.
After I turned 18, I entered my first nightclub and got drunk for the first time in my life. At the time I was the ‘weird one’ because the friends I had, had already been doing this for years prior.
Over the course of the next 9-10 months, I would go out about 7 or 8 times. Not a lot, but it was what I looked forward to. It was the next social event on the calendar with friends.
During this time of my life, I had what people call, ‘one foot in one foot out.’ I was still attending a Sunday service at the church I was going to at the time, but my language and personal lifestyle was no reflection of the Christian faith.
I have heard Johnathan Cairns say the word ‘Churchianity’ many times when he has given his testimony in church, and that’s exactly what I had. It was truly a double life I was living and it was extremely difficult to maintain.
God never left me through this time of trial and denial in my life. He presented himself in many different forms, and some of those forms were family members.
During covid lockdown my sister came back to the Lord, which now I can say was the best decision of her life, at the time I wasn’t just as pleased. She became another person who would continuously speak about Christ around me and I quickly built up a resentment.
Looking back at that time of my life now, it was exactly what I needed and God knew that.
Covid lockdown was an extremely difficult time for me mentally and I truly believe it’s because I didn’t have the presence of God to guide me through.
When church reopened Eva asked me what I thought about coming back to ‘The Well’ with her. There wasn’t much thinking involved as I quickly replied ‘NO!’ When the Saturday rolled around, she asked me again after work, and we’ll, here we are.
I don’t have a day or a date that my life changed forever. God worked with me. Continuously I pushed him away and was embarrassed of him, but he stayed here the whole time.
I came back to Whitewell after lockdown and after months, I started to have my own devotional life with God, for the first time in my life. I began to pray, to read my Bible, really listen to the teachings of God, and my love for him grew stronger every day.
My life has been full of blessings, from past to present. The only difference now is that I recognise God’s hand in all of it.
I am proud to talk about him, and how he has turned my life around. I love when non - believers as me about my faith. I don’t know everything but I know how much I love him, and the difference I see in myself.
I find joy in his presence, knowing the sacrifice he made for me. I want to live my life to please him. I am here today at the age of 21 with more than I ever could’ve imagined as a naive 18 year old girl.
God has blessed me with an amazing partner who loves the Lord, and strives to live his life to glorify him everyday. A relationship built on our love for Jesus Christ.
I don’t fit the mould of a 21 year old in today’s society, and I pray everyday that God uses me as an example of what he can do for others.
I live my life for Jesus, because he died me for me.
‘The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.’
I couldn’t of changed my own life around. All the glory to God!